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Songs of Love (and Decay)

Songs of Love (and Decay) (2017)

is a song-cycle by Robert van Heumen for voice and electronics performed by Evelien van den Broek with financial support from the Performing Arts Fund NL. A series of personal texts about love in a decaying world. Inspired by Christian Fennesz' Endless Summer and J.M. Coetzee's Summertime. Below is the first song. 'First' in multiple meanings. The album is released on October 17, 2017. Listen to it on Bandcamp.

Thanks to Evelien van den Broek for lending her special voice to this project. This album is dedicated to the very special persons who inspired these songs. You know who you are.

"I love the frequent sharp edge and originality of the music, and the totally futuristic, technological vibe throughout. Superb singer! I find your music here reminding me of many things, especially from the 1980s and early 2000s, but of course it is none of those things really, it is completely new and unpredictable!"
Michael Bonaventure, composer and organist
"Van Heumen made the most of his technical skillfulness to ensure that nothing sound predictable or stale, and he succeeded. The choice of vocalist Evelien Van Den Broek appears perfect for the scope. The lyrics are rendered with a cross of detached sadness and genuine anger. They talk of hope and disillusion; of processes of growth that had been imagined in a thoroughly different light.
Massimo Ricci, Touching Extremes


1. Warp
When I met you I liked you 
You went into warp 
All or nothing 
Was I ready was I done 
All or nothing 
Was I ready to make a decision 

I needed more time 
Over summer over summer 
Sending messages in disguise 
Turning things over and again 

But you moved right on and 
You went into warp 
Demanded a decision, an answer, right here and right now 
A decision forever and ever more 

2. Coma

Mental guidance, that is what I need 
Help to focus, something to hold on to 
Find meaning in life, then I thought it was you 
When we met on the streets in New York 

But you weren’t guiding me you were letting me be 
So I looked elsewhere 
Oprah was good for a while 
Then HerbaLife came along 

Finally Jezus did the trick 
Jezus, that’s what you get for letting me be 

And love stopped dead in its track 
When words were no longer valid 

What were you thinking? 
Were you thinking at all? 
I was just brainwashed, totally 
Do you even remember 

You should have gotten me out 
When there still was a chance 
You tried, with help of the enemy 
But did you really want out 

Maybe you were just scared 
Of a future with me 
Different minds, different ways 
Did you push me away 

Maybe you were just scared 
Of a future with me 
Different minds, different ways 
Did you push me away 

Finally God sucked me in 
Jezus, that’s what you get for giving me space 

And love stopped dead in its track 
When words were no longer valid

3. First Love

You were older, you were bolder 
Than me 

I was just looking for a shoulder 
To cry 

To regain myself, figure things out 
Make sense of it all 

7 years later I was older, I was bolder 
Knew what to say and said it 

In between 
Were 7 beautiful years 
Let's remember those 

Despite hurt despite sorrow 
You were just looking for a shoulder 
It was comfort 
Wasn't it love

4. I want you

You want me, all the way 
I want you, I want you not 
Or do I 
Or am I 
just playing 

Or do I want 
someone else, something else 
What do you really want 

is it real, is it all, is it heaven 
Is it cheating, is it wrong, is it love 
Or just sex 
Am I dishonest, should I confess, make a choice 
You are too eager, you want too much, you want it all 
Or nothing 
You left me

5. Walz for the restless

We danced 
under similar circumstances 
Both looking for love, 
lost love, maybe 

Then we took it online 
Sweet words on a screen 
Distant conversation 
Don’t know what I feel 

Expectations diverting 
Chemistry lost 
And then found, in disguise 
At a terrible cost 

Lust without sound 
Sound without love 
Did I ever love you 
Or were you just my rebound

6. Requiem

Grant him eternal rest my Lord 
and let endless light shine upon him. 

Hear my prayer: to you shall all flesh come. 
Grant him rest. Amen. 

Merciful Lord, grant him rest, eternal rest.

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